James, the insanely muscular vocalist for Chicago band Harm’s Way, has been designated a ‘satire free zone’ by this publication. Our Staff Writer reports: “We had a couple of stories we were considering running on this excellent, much respected outfit. Then we decided, after viewing some photos and video of James, that there really was nothing we wished to convey apart from the fact we have the utmost respect for Harm's Way, and James in particular. We have bought all their records, and can find absolutely nothing to say about them that would detract from their reputation in any way shape or form. Particularly, that photo where he is wearing that balaclava made us think, here is a guy who we really don’t feel we should satirise in any way. At all. In fact, we would like to stress to James that if even the appearance of this disclaimer has caused him any personal distress and inconvenience, then we would be more than happy to offer a frank and comprehensive apology. We would also be happy to compensate him monetarily for his trouble, via PayPal. James, if you are reading this - we love you, and we wish you, your family and all your friends every happiness. Always.” It was at this point our Staff Writer requested some fresh air, and appeared to be sweating profusely. “I’m sorry, a tiny bit of sick came into my mouth. I have to lie down.”
